Review

Winner of Froufrou's "Goldenballs Award." Reviewing porn is like working in a chocolate factory. You never want to eat chocolate again. Mind you, if this amazing title is typical of what I have to sit through I’d be Willy Wonka!

For those unfamiliar with Plain Wrapped titles they’re a little - ahem - extreme for the vanilla amongst you, but you should always have your boundaries stretched once in a while. These well produced quality productions may teach you a thing or two, or have you running to your local priest at the speed of light.

Here we have medical scenarios.
And boy, nothing like this happened at my last check up.

The closest I got involved was turning my head and coughing. I gotta find this hospital! We start with close-ups of speculums and you get the idea. Directed by the wonderfully perverted Scarborough whose sewer mind knows no boundaries. Imagine the Link series on speed and you’re half way there.

The first scene features the totally gorgeous Dr. Baxter and his mondo bizarro assistant Jeff Baron (wearing only a jockstrap and see through lab coat) examining Fuller’s “very large sphincter”. I can’t work out if every time Baron disappears off-screen he’s pissing himself laughing at the wonderful ridiculousness of it all. Baxter (who looks like Dr. Jon in the Tales of the City series) starts with one finger and within seconds has all five up there. “Feel anything yet?” he asks. “No,” comes the reply. “Nor am I.” Had me exploding with laughter.

Fuller indeed has a “very large sphincter” because he doesn’t even notice a fist up there. And Parker (who is far too pretty to be doing this sort of flick) can crack jokes, look all Dr. Kildare-ish and still be hard-on inducing all at the same time. There’s a great bit where he looks at the off-screen crew for a nano-second, knows he’s done wrong and pulls a little “whoopsies” grin without breaking up. OK – I guess I should stop fawning and concentrate on the stretching: Fuller is two-steps away from swallowing the Doctor whole. “I hope you have insurance,” “I think this procedure is covered,” “oh, good.” Fabulous!

Things get hotter and off come the Doctor’s scrubs and I swear to PornGod, you will totally fall in love. All the while Baron is messing about with swabs, but gets to take over when the Doctor leaves. He forces both hands up the patient’s already dilated-beyond-hope rectum and produces some hot moaning and groaning. “I think I can see your tonsils” he says, leaving a bruised and battered bumhole and a promise of a lollipop.

Elsewhere, Marcus Iron (ultra-sexy in Descent but here sporting a rather nasty platinum bleach job) is tied to a chair with arm and leg restrains by Nurse Thom Barron. Iron has a great expression-filled face straight from a Margaret Keane “big-eye” painting and there’s genuine fear as the buckles are tightened by our nasty German Nurse.

All tied up and no place to go!

But you’ll have to wait as we cut to another room with Dr. Hunter giving a rectal examination to Parker, convinced he’s got something stuck up there. Parker begs the Doc to keep delving, stretching those muscular buns further and further apart. This doctor may be a Harvard Grad but is naive enough not to notice Parker’s ecstatic moans and dribbling precum. Barron helps out (after leaving poor Iron all on his own) and Hunter makes great use of a speculum (hope he warmed it first) up his patient, jerking him off into a container filled with mysterious purple liquid. Is something bad about to happen? Horny Hospital about to go Horror Hospital? “Is my insurance gonna cover this?” the patient asks as the mysterious fluid is injected up his ass.

Nurse Barron returns to the restrained Irons, forcing him to drink in order to obtain a urine sample. This is great mental torture, Barron threatening use of a catheter. Patience is rewarded as Iron eventually pees (I’m pee-shy too) into a sample jar. And keeps peeing. For ages. This guy must have been drinking tea.

Iron eventually tempts Nursey into providing oral relief - you wouldn’t have to twist my arm - talking dirty as he face fucks the German who looks like he’s about to puke everywhere. This hot and filthy scene - complete with gagging - sees Iron getting his own back before having his ass pummeled by well hung wiener. Iron is great, and loves every second.

Back with the rapidly disrobing Hunter and his patient Parker, things are going very well. Hunter uses his great ass to tempt the doc, giving him an impressive tentpole under his scrubs. Parker dives for it and gets off having his face fucked. Our dirty doctor then fucks him over a stool, things getting very hot and sticky, with Parker’s precum flowing like water! When Hunter does shoot over his partner’s buttocks the sweaty MD’s lion roars could be heard as far away as Australia.

The scenes just keep getting hotter, as next we have Fuller and cutesy blonde Rider taking turns swallowing huge latex monsters. They get bigger and bigger until Rider (who looks way too young and innocent to be able to do such a thing) gets a traffic cone sized black monster all the way inside himself. This Godzilla sized dildo has been in tons of Plain Wrapped movies. Hope they wash it.

The final scene features Rodney as a sex pig who is again blessed with capacities that betray his youthful looks. This guy’s arse is a bucket and Nicaste takes pleasure in pushing its limits. You won’t believe the tricks it can do. Next week it’ll be rolling around on a beach ball playing the trumpet.