Review

I never thought I’d see the day when I could work a few Grease 2 references into one of my porn reviews, but after drooling over every rowdy, throat-plugging, ass-cramming, cum-luscious moment of Chi Chi LaRue’s naughty scholastic romp Detention, I was practically warbling "I gotta go back... back, back to school again!"

If you’ve taken your Oral Exams, your loose jaw probably dropped to the floor plenty of times - not only out of astonishment over all the steamy, slurpy, sux-capades, but also in tribute to the overall hungness of the generously endowed (and orally talented) cast of wet-dreamy hunks. Well, Mistress Chi Chi and her irascible bad boys have hit paydirt and struck gold again, with even more dedicated cock-swallowing and ass-shellacking. Only this time, there’s plenty of hot booty to be railed, too.

First up is adorable sex puppy Matt Summers, who’s summoned by strapping D.C. Chandler into the office for a little grade waxing: despite being a model student, Matt’s failing his classes - apparently because he can’t keep the other guys’ crotch monsters out of his throat. Can he assuage D.C. into boosting his flagging grades solely with the seductive power of his magnificent deep-suction talents? You bet your gag reflex, a lack of which Matt thoroughly demonstrates with an exquisite round of cock gobbling on D.C.’s generously long and uncircumcised tool, all the way down to his bushy black pubes. Hottest moment: Matt lays on the desk with his head cocked back, gullet wide open and ready to receive the plowing thrusts of D.C.’s invasive throat plug which, when fully inserted, makes D.C.’s plump nuts squeeze up against Matt’s flaring nostrils.

Matt takes a few juicy slurps of D.C.’s hairy pie hole, but it’s Matt’s cherry that needs the lube, as D.C. soon plows his cute hairy toches extremely well. Don’t miss D.C. blowing a thick wad of man goo all over Matt’s face, followed by a creamy spurt-o-Matt (accompanied by his usual seismic series of orgasmic convulsions).

Next, we meet four guys in a classroom. Frosted blonde Kyle Kennedy, cute as a button, is a jock/discipline case who’s being punished for making fart noises in class. His coach, incensed at the boy’s insolence because it disqualifies him from the team, force-feeds the unruly brat his plump already-hard shaft, assisted by the pushing hands of the two other teammates. Soon we have a throbbing, spitting, aggressive foursome, with everyone sampling every shiny knob in the room. Hottest moment: Kyle gets plugged from both ends, then gamely takes three thick cum bursts between the eyes without flinching.

Next, janitor Chad Hunt discovers some porno mags in an open locker belonging to jock cutie Tag Adams, quite tasty with his high-and-tight military buzz cut. Before you can say “boiler room”, Chad’s enticed Tag into his dingy basement work station under the pretense of looking at his treasure trove of collected smut. Looming over the strewn plumbing fixtures (cracked sinks, crusty toilets and the like) is a wall of naughty photos. “Makes your dick hard, doesn’t it?” remarks Chad, who’s more interested in the perfectly round magnificence of Tag’s beautiful bubble booty. After astonishing Tag with the largeness of his cool rider, Chad persuades the young dude to drop trou and spread cheek for some luscious ass rimming.

The weather forecast must’ve called for showers, because Chad eventually lets loose with a long golden torrent, delivering his splashy water stream directly onto Tag’s smooth ass crevasse and yawning pink hole. If this were one of those bull’s-eye-with-a-water-pistol carnival games, Chad would’ve surely inflated the balloon first and won a prize. Tag takes another piss in the face and mouth, then deep-gags on Chad’s veiny and quite-rock-hard apparatus - all while Chad’s spritz is still dripping from Tag’s jaw.

Shower fetishists will delight to the further sight of Tag wetting his denims. Later, he sprinkles another arcing stream onto Chad’s dick, which quite substantially dwarfs Tag’s semi-soft weenie. Then, in the same drenching shot, Chad spouts forth with another triumphant arc of urination.

Cut to Tag taking a firm seat onto Chad’s fully-erect cock rod, wiggling down on it a good three quarters of its daunting length. Tag, you’re it! Later, Tag’s on his back, legs splayed, with Chad finger-teasing and spanking his puckering annulus.

This leads to what could be interpreted as a sordid ode to Miss Gulch, as Chad takes a broomstick and slides the lubricated handle into and out of Tag’s stretched hole. The overhead image of Chad piloting the witch’s stick looks like he could be churning butter. Or cream - as in the sort that will soon be spurted all over Tag’s tight muscular body.

Next up is a lavatory dalliance between a teacher (Zack Edwards) and a detainee without a hall pass (Rob Kirk). Zack sucks on Rob’s up-curved meat, and when Zack’s trousers are yanked down and his bulging boxers revealed, there’s a fresh big wet spot on ’em. Zack unleashes a heavy dong, crowned with a thick PA. He’s also got a really fierce tattoo that starts on his right ankle and wraps diagonally up his leg, around his lumbar and ends up encircling his left nipple.

More soggy weather ahead: The torrents of piss come splashing down once again (twice again, actually), as Rob and Zack both gush each other with their 100-degree fluid. After they give each other a rim chew, Rob breaks out a large black dildo, feeds it to Zack, then greases it up for the plowing. Finally we’re on with the rump-humping, as Zack rides Rob’s high hard on while propped up against a urinal. We end with Zack receiving a facial creaming, though his own jerked load is negligible.

The climactic detention room orgy begins with Matt expertly deep-gobbling five cocks in succession. While all these lovely cocks are being sucked and stroked off, Chad creeps unnoticed into the room, appraises the situation and instantly makes it a seven-way: he kneels to feast on the muy guapo cula of scruffy and tattoo’d Rascal Exclusive Johnny Hazzard (hot, muscled and delicious indeed).

Our next image is of a glorious train of frottage and sodomy, with one hunk rimming the next, while he sucks on the next, who’s stroking the next, and so on, and so on...

Chad then walks the length of the desk, feeding his heavy down-hung tool to every gulping throat in a row. Suddenly, eight-way: As Chad finishes his second round of tonsil lunging, in walks stern Principal Logan Reed, who we’d expect to be a total buzz-killing bitch about all this throbbing insubordination but who, surprisingly, kneels to cram a ready stiff cock into his mouth instead. Logan proves to be quite the cock pig, double-sucking greedily on two shafts at once.

Logan spreads cheek for the penetrating thrust of papi Hazzard’s veiny manliness; adjacent, Matt proficiently - nay, triumphantly - deep-throats every enormous inch of Chad’s super-sized meat. And whereas everyone got to taste the plunge of Chad’s dick earlier, Matt now gives up his precious little booty to just about every dick in detention, with the disproportionately hung Mr. Hunt being an understandable last in the batting order.

And Holy Bukkake, Batman! We climax with a series of seven creamy facials for lucky Mr. Summers. Then, his adorable face full of gushed Hellmann’s, Matt has another violent, moaning cum-spewing seizure. His jerky orgasmic spasm isn’t so much le petit morte as it is le tres-fucking-grande morte!!

At nearly two-and-a-half hours, this epic fuck-and-suck will keep you rapt and stroking for a long time coming. Keep plenty of replenishing fluids handy. Production values are exemplary and the fabulously fit fuckers and suckers are all in gushingly fine form. This one’s a total keeper! Being bad never looked so good! But… "Where does the pollen go?"

 -- Beef Stroganoff