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Review

Are you down with FPTLLRP? Yeah, you know me! That's Fake Penises That Look Like Real Penises, bitches. Perhaps you lean toward transmale, butch, or you're just a genderbent, maniacal dildo-wielding queer motherfucker who wants to fuck with a real cock just for kicks! Either way, you and your lady (or boy… or whoever) could find some serious joy with this new toy!

My girlfriend and I are definitely down with FPTLLRP, so we were pumped to try the Cyber Cock Slimline – here after referred to as Slim Jim. He is a little smaller than my other Cyber Cock, Notorious B.I.G., with the circumference about the size of a silver dollar. SJ fit really snugly in my harness and although a little dead-guy in color, seeing something real-ish dangling in front of my girlfriend's pearly gates made me hot! SJ has slight ridges and veins, big, squishy balls, a large head and the Virtual Touch texture really fucking crazily feels like skin, especially since it warms to body temperature – although it did take a little while to get there.

Some things that also bugged me a little about SJ were that he kind of hung at a downward angle from my harness, which lessens your chances of hitting your gal's "spot." My girlfriend, only a part-time patron of penetration, said SJ felt a little big, but she loved sucking on him and said he tasted pretty good! I didn't try packing with SJ, but I think you'd need some serious nut-huggers to hold this guy down. I wouldn't say it's not possible, though. Lastly, the black dye of my Lycra harness rubbed off on the balls and now I unfortunately have permanent blue balls. Aside from all that, Slim Jim's a roughly non-expensive (comparatively) great starter cock for those who are down with FPTLLRP! (And just for the record, since Slim Jim was probably molded from a real dick that means you're also down with OPP... indirectly, of course).

 -- Jae Dark