Review

If you go down to the woods today you’re sure of a big surprise! Taking that to heart, Factory Video packed up the van and hit the woodlands of ‘Frisco one foggy afternoon.

At first I thought I wasn’t gonna enjoy this professional “amateur” movie, but when the credits rolled and the cast list includes “A Guy Walkin By” I thought I might give it a chance - even if it does have Reddick co-starring. But there’s also good old Donavon in a “my career isn't too important to me so I might as well have fun” performances.

And so, we hit the woods. By the way: Have you ever noticed that whenever a body is found buried in a shallow grave in woodland it’s always discovered by a man walking his dog? I think the police should have words with this man.

Casey and Wild are first to go on the alfresco fornication parade. They cruise, they get naked, and once again prove that a resurgence in the art of conversation is truly just a pipe dream. Barrel-chested Casey really should have hit the sunbed before shooting and should stop looking so pained, as Wild no doubt really gives a great blow-job. After both cocks are dripping with saliva Casey rubbers up and leisurely thrusts in and out of Wild, who fertilizes the forest floor with his egg whites. Casey is then taken to Wild’s car to be finished off orally. You’ll remember from his other performances that Wild is a voracious cumpig and licks up every last drop of Casey’s pecker-sauce. But why does he slam the door so hard on his way out?

Casey tells of a time when his friend Sage gave a complete stranger a blowjob. (That happens so often to me I don’t even bother mentioning it in my journal.) It’s the "guy walkin by"! Sage sucks off International Man of Mystery who shoots right down his throat.

Once done with the cum worship, Sage wanders off and sees Reddick and Duranda naked in a nearby clearing. Hell, if you wander through the woods of SF you’ll either see this or pagan sacrifices all the time. These two turn our voyeur on so much he beats his meat and fingers his hole in a nearby hollowed out tree. The suck-fuck-rim floor show ends with Reddick being fucked by his buddy before having his tonsils sprayed with “Essence of Man”. Sage shoots on his own hands and licks them clean. Ewww. You don’t know where that hand has been!

A naked Duranda and Reddick both deliver some “to the camera” lines but I was more concerned with a large mouse scuttling across my apartment floor. Fabulous! Wendy Welfare next door has finally succeeded in introducing Vermin to the apartment block. Fabulous!

When I got back to the video (I left it running whilst chasing the mouse round the room with a cricket bat) bleach blonde Donavon was busy getting a blowjob from Casey whilst mysterious and ominous horns went off in the background. It’s either signaling something bad (the Blair Witch approaching?) or the Vikings are invading. Or they filmed too close to the harbor - it’s a foggy day, remember? Donavon deepthroats fabulously still, but Casey is capable of making it look just as easy. Donavon takes a back-door delivery from his pale companion before flip-flopping and shooting on Casey’s pecs. As if to prove a point Donny then drinks Casey’s White Wood Juice and the two walk off hand in hand. Aww. It’s love.

Oh, and fun twig out-take at the end. But did they douche for it?

Press notes synopsis for Cum in the Wild:
"Pack it in... Pack it out. It's all San Francisco amateurs fucking outside! It's a favorite activity of gay men: Cruising for sex and getting it in the great outdoors. Customers asked if we could tape guys having sex outdoors. We thought it sounded like fun. So, we've captured amateur guys having sex in a backyard, in a wooded park, and at a secluded nude beach overlooking the Golden Gate Bridge. It's fun, sleazy outdoor sex - San Francisco style!"