Review

Warning: This is a Nair-free review. If reading about men with copious amounts of facial and body hair gives you the willies, then look elsewhere. Bear lovers, read on. Designed with the fuzzy-wuzzy freak in mind, Big Bear Trucking Company celebrates the carnal pleasures of hairy manhood.

The film opens with Hurley (a.k.a. "Titpig") touching himself all over in the shower while tugging and twisting on his jumbo-sized nips. He then moves to the weight bench, where he goes from pumping iron to pumping his own cock of steel. He dumps his junk on the weight bench, and then cleans up by hungrily lapping it up.

Next, those zany South boys rouse each other from hibernation and enjoy a hearty breakfast of hairy ass. You'll get itchy just watching this balls-out fur fest, with its vivid cocksucking, pit licking, butt munching and ass pounding.

Hurley and Clark get together for the film’s hottest scene. These two shaggy bears just can’t get enough of each other. Clark, a bearded, red-haired gent, has a predilection for licking Hurley's beard and lavishing attention on his mammoth nipples. Hurley, who chomps on a stogey for much of the scene, grunts and barks like a dog in heat as Clark works him into a froth. Eventually, Hurley ends up sending Prince Albert into Clark’s butthole in a quest for the holy orgasm. And boy does he find it! In one of the most stunning beard-frostings ever caught on film, Clark dumps his load all over Hurley’s face fur. Hurley ends up looking like he had a run-in with a Krispy Kreme glazing machine.

The next scene is the least exciting of the bunch - a poorly-lit quickie between burly, bearded Adams and his buddy, Mr. Barnes. If you squint, you can make out some sucking and rimming, but just when you think the lighting man might wake up, the scene ends.

The film redeems itself with the next scene - a torrid twosome between ultra-bear Radcliffe and the ubiquitous Vespa. Burly Radcliffe looks like the product of a tryst between a grizzly and a brown bear. First, Vespa and Radcliffe take turns feasting on each other’s manmeat. Vespa then speaks in tongues to Radcliffe’s wooly caboose. Eventually, Radcliffe slams Vespa to high, hairy, homo heaven as the camera captures the action from a variety of arousing angles.

There’s lots to love in Big Bear Trucking Company, an unadulterated salute to ursine pleasures. So put the razor away, stop waxing and watch the fur fly.

 -- T.J. Maxxwell