Review

Well, hot fuckin' damn, this may very well be the classiest goddamn thing I ever rammed up my buttpipe! Which isn't too much of a stretch, because while I ram a whole lot of things up my ass from time to time, most of them couldn't be described as "classy". The Aneros V-Series Vice Massager, on the other hand, could practically be a museum piece.

From the moment I opened the package, I was, shall we say, overwhelmed with elegance. The packaging looks like something you'd expect to accompany a collector's edition art book or a really sweet box set of DVDs or something, certainly not a sex toy. While I never really give care about a toy's packaging, I mention it here as a testament to Aneros' sublime design. When I look at the sweet case this thing arrives in, suddenly the act of massaging my prostate starts to feel a little less dirty. The same deal goes for the design of the toy itself. It's as fun to look at as it is to play with. The toy's exquisite curves are designed to hit every perfect spot of the male anatomy, but pay as much attention to form as they do to function. Of course, as brilliant as any sex object may be visually, if it can't perform when the lights go down, it's an all-out failure. That said, I'm glad to report that the Aneros Vice more than stood up to the hefty task of whamming my prostate into orgasmic bliss. The carefully designed curves, as I mentioned before, carefully cuddle and caress both the prostate and the perinieum (also known as the taint), resulting in some goddamn magnificent erections and cumshots.

It should be noted that while this is a truly outstanding device, it is one found on the more pricy side of things, and some of the nuances might be lost on beginners. There are a lot of less expensive prostate toys on the market that offer significant quality and are sure to get any guy's rocks off without too much trouble.

But if you appreciate the finer things, and you want to step up your anal game, this is the toy for you. Highly recommended.

 -- Maston Hammerman