Review

Cazzo is known for some mega-sleazy porn, but Among Men may be a bit "vanilla." OK, but there’s American vanilla; there’s French vanilla; and then there’s this German vanilla. Which is more like Fudge Ripple: the bodies are rippled and the men are packing fudge! Also, if you want pretty boys, forget it: These are full-grown, red-hot men ready for action.

Among Men's only problem is its scenario - it doesn’t make a lot of sense even if you do speak German. Police officers Willi Wonder and Steve Bonsai are sent by chief Mike French to a deserted mansion to find two missing hikers. Apparently it's haunted by military ghosts who are experts at "rear guard" action: they fuck everyone who enters it.

"Abandon all hope of intact sphincters, ye who enter here." To add to the confusion, the ghosts are led by the same guy who played the chief. It’s all very German expressionistic, but luckily it doesn’t get in the way of the incredibly hot sex, so who cares?

Cue the flashback to hikers Keith and Lance De Moor arriving at the mansion, both wearing classic European men’s short shorts. (Yum!) The first to enter is Lance, a tight-bodied dark dude with a buzz cut and an elaborate shoulder tattoo. He walks in on the very meaty Erik Lenn sprawled out on a couch - his body is at ease, but his dick is at full attention. Lance salutes the ramrod soldier with an expert blow-job, wrapping his thick lips around the even thicker shaft.

They are joined by French in army fatigues. If all daddies in Germany are like this guy, no wonder they call it the "Fatherland." Lance chows down on both tubesteaks first singly and then together like a starving man. Both men take turns pounding Lance’s ass, though French’s massive meat gets most of the action. Director Andreas’ favorite camera angle is from below, so we get intimate views of Lance being plowed in various positions. Lance’s asshole is superhuman; it wears out both men, who shoot on his chest before he lets loose himself.

Meanwhile, Kevin has his own vision outside - the horse-hung Rick Hollander straddling his face and jerking off a sizeable load on his face. The shock of the wetness wakes Kevin up, and he enters the house looking for his friend. Kevin is a recently retired twinkie: his smooth face and body are just beginning to harden in all the right places. He spies the swarthy, slender Ivan Andros chained to the ceiling. Hollander reappears in leather pants and starts whipping Andros’ ass before throwing him to the floor and fucking his face. Andros is also a first-class cocksucker and swallows Hollander whole. Hollander next shoves Andros’ face into his own ass and then slams him on a table for a brutal fuck, pausing before every ramming thrust for maximum effect. Obviously it works, because Andros shoots a major load while being fucked and without touching himself.

Suddenly, Kevin gets grabbed from behind by French and thrown into a room with giant shelves. French pushes him to his knees, but the oral action here is less satisfying; Kevin has a tight throat and simply can’t take all of French. Kevin’s hole isn’t much looser, because when French throws him onto a shelf and enters him, he registers genuine pain. It takes three tries before French finds the right position for a deep, penetrative pounding.

While all this is going on (or not, since it may be a dream), our trusty officers arrive and search the deserted house. They reach the attic where there is a big brass bed. They decide to take a nap, but fear not - these cops don’t lay down on the job, they get laid! Willi wakes up to discover raven-haired beauty Laurent watching them; he’s the cutest guy in the cast, and makes for a sizzling match with Willi’s roughly etched face and stocky body. The cop gives the ghost a tongue bath from his five-o’clock shadow to his pert nipples to his fat-headed cock. Laurent reciprocates, and then bends him over a chair and fucks the living daylights out of him. Not bad for a dead guy.

Steve wakes up to find the engorged dicks of French and Lenn waving above his face. Like Laurent before him, he takes both men in his mouth, but they have more planned than that. They set him on all fours and shove three black dildos of increasing size in his chute. It ends quickly though, as both officers suddenly wake up back in bed (I told you it was a dream) and embrace. The bed suddenly moves outside (I told you it doesn't make much sense) for the film's most tender and sensual pairing. The cock-sucking and ass-rimming are especially hot; the film ends with a gratifying flip-flop. (I told you it doesn't matter.)

Among Men is a wild ride through a Haunted Mansion, this ain’t no Disneyland. The only things these guys ride are each other.

 -- Jameson Rodgers