Review

Obvious joke, but some expeditions you don’t do half-way, especially when you see who your companions are! Lately gay porn studios have done more for the Eastern European economic workforce than McDonald’s ever could. If you are well built, well-hung and gorgeous you are guaranteed a job (doubly if you’ve got a foreskin) and you’ll be paid enough root vegetables to feed your entire gypsy encampment for a year. Yep, welcome to the usual parade of hot hunks with names like over-the-counter painkillers.

Here we tackle mountaineering, that most boring of sports. In fact the only interesting thing about it is that crampon sounds slightly like tampon which totally appeals to my immature, juvenile sense of humor. Our ambitious climbers can’t wait to tackle Cursed Gorge but on their travels they’ll tackle many things. Usually each other.

By the way, I’ve fallen head over heels in love with the totally hot and hairy cutie-pie Vidanov, so I apologize if this review comes across as a little him-centric.

Cut straight to a chalet with our three heroes relaxing pre-climb. There’s nothing better than a hot cup of tea Posza suggests (and being English I totally agree) before Vidanov thinks he knows something even better, and it’s not eager-beaver over-achiever Laczko’s suggestion of climbing virgin rockface. He’s thinking of sex but the others try to dissuade him; eventually he says he’ll join them but only if his pals get naked. After all, he tells them, “If I fall off the rock I don’t think my tool will ever work again, so I would like to try it out one last time.” All that pussy-footing around just to get laid. However, they don’t need to be asked twice.

The three quickly strip down to their Calvins. Vidanov and Laczko take turns swallowing Posza’s impressive Mountain Man Meat before Vidanov rims him, next turning his attention to Laczko’s foreskinned wonder. In response Laczko offers his tight ass and Vidanov fucks away, spit-roasting him with Posza on the other end receiving some great oral form Laczko who struggles to swallow that red-headed red-pubed organ. Posza then mounts Vidanov whilst he’s still in Laczko and a hot daisy-chain happens on the table. When Laczko shoots he sets off an avalanche and the others splatter their emotion-lotion.

Suited and booted, the three head off to Cursed Gorge but daft Vidanov forgets his helmet (cute but stupid - I guess I can live with that) and heads back to the chalet to retrieve it. He stumbles across Magyar and Szakacs mid foreplay, telling them to call Mountain Rescue if they aren’t back by three o’clock. Quick climb then. What is Cursed Gorge? A molehill? He leaves Magyar and Szakacs to get on with matters in hand, their Calvins bulging in all the right places. They kiss, groan and grunt with passion before Magyar frees his partners prick and swallows it hungrily. Szakacs is not the best blow-jobber but compensates by offering his tasty hole to Magyar’s probing tongue, then swelling pecker. The pair flip-flop, Szakacs poking his way into Magyar’s tight browneye, causing the both of them to let rid a geyser squeezer of geezer pleaser.

We get a little view of our trio in action at Cursed Gorge, and I’d like to point out that technically they are abseiling, not mountaineering, but I’m just being picky.

Elsewhere chalet-bound Mountain Rescuers Laszlo, Mirlos and Alecs play cards. Laszlo is totally bored but his comrades know ways of alleviating cabin-fever. Mirlos and Alecs pull him between them and the three musclegods become one mass of wet, sweaty, pumped up flesh. After some heavy french-kissing Laszlo and Alecs chew the nipples of Mirlos who looks like a steroided version of Brian from Queer as Folk. Soon Laszlo is on his knees blowing his comrades before he stretches their foreskins and docks them, something I haven’t seen done for a while. Some Twyla Tharp acrobatic moves later (Laszlo sucking Mirlos whilst hand-standing) and the Olympians are working the butt of the now blissfully happy Laszlo. The shagsauce flies everywhere and the cabin fever subsides.

Abseiling to the bottom of Cursed Gorge Posza and Laczko pathetically fall about two feet and break their legs, forcing Vidanov to head for help. Run, Forrest!

Hubai and Szabo are having a glass of wine to celebrate Hubai’s birthday. His presents include sunglasses - wraparounds, how eighties - and the obligatory white Calvins that everyone in this movie seems to wear. (I wonder if they are the twenty-first century commie black-market equivalent of Levis and Beatles records.) Hubai tries them on, and Szabo loves them, but their oral ardor is disturbed by Vidanov who knocks on the door asking for help. This guy has a knack of stumbling upon shagging couples. Wish I had his luck. Once Mountain Rescue have been called Vidanov is convinced to stay by his naked hosts, stripped out of his salopettes and sucking their heavy equipment. Vidanov not only continues the docking motif but swallows both at once. Eventually the guest is noisily fucked by both his hosts and this throbbing scene will get your pulse racing. These three studs cover the floor with enough spooge to cause serious slip-risk. Happy Birthday!

Everyone is bandaged up and they all live happily ever after. So will you after you watch this hot hot hot fuck flick over and over again through the years.

Highly recommended quality production. Bravo! Climb every mountain, till you reach your creme!

 -- Froufrou A. Gogo