Review

Not for the squeamish, Full Anal Access is a dirty, nasty, borderline filthy- scratch that, definitely filthy - pornographic production that raises many important questions like, ‘Do you like things to be stuck up your ass, baby?’ Other questions one could ask about this flick are, ‘How can a sweet, innocent looking girl be so nasty,’ or ‘Is it ready - do you want me to get your asshole ready’?

If you are at all perplexed by this line of questioning, ask yourself, ‘Am I weak of rectum?’ Depending on your response, this might just be the movie for you. Starting with Ashley Blue sitting on the bed talking to the camera, you think, she’s kind of cute. Then, as three guys proceed to stick their dicks into every hole Ashley has, she doesn’t look so cute anymore. She looks like she’s about to choke on a cock. (If you find this appealing, then you’ll enjoy the rest of the filth. I mean film.)

When we get to covergirl, Mandy Bright, they don’t even bother with the pointless and cheesy hardrock striptease that Brooke Balentyne, Rio Mariah and Jasmine Lynn all put on. Mandy’s just there, shakin’ her butt, talking to the camera, looking scary. You know she’s about to get smutted. She knows she’s about to get smutted. (Even her lazy eye knows she about to get smutted). Michael Stefano gets her ready by pluggin’ her up with a blue candle looking ass plug, two golden balls in the pussy, and one dick in the mouth – it’s good to be the producer (and the director). Topping it off, he makes her squeeze the plug out of her ass before bringing in his friends to play a little musical dicks. Except there ain’t no music. Just dicks.

That’s pretty much the way this feature goes. Except for most scenes aren’t quite as good as Mandy’s. Full of double penetration, tossed salads, rough sex, shit fingers and more, Full Anal Access offers a sneak peak into just how nasty we horny monkeys can get. On the plus side, there doesn’t seem to be any overdubbing. It looks like it sounds – and it sounds like it hurts.

One thing about the girls, they certainly are, umm, ambidextrous. And the guys are like David Copperfield doing impressions of dyslexic energizer bunnies. They come from out of nowhere – and they keep coming and coming and coming.

Note: This is not a chick flick. This is an at least two dicks per chick flick. And, if you decide to watch the special features, remember – there are more dicks than chicks. Not my preferred ratio, but hey, if your ass is open, “my ass is open”.*

* - actual quote from film

 -- Harry Palma