Review

Alright, I'll tell you this toy's biggest problem right off the bat. It's fucking huge. It's tough finding a discreet place in my home to tuck it away for when I'm courting or entertaining. Lucky for me, I'm sort of a loner and haven't had someone over to the house in years, so it's not too big a deal. And if you've got a closet or a space under your desk or something, you'll have no trouble.

Now, let me get to this toy's biggest asset (which may sound familiar). It's fucking huge. It's a plump, meaty, monster of a fucktoy, and I gotta say, it was an absolute pleasure to stick my penis inside of it. The "fanta-flesh" is just about as realistic as they come and the plump ass is almost as much fun to look at as it is to screw. Almost. It's got a deep pussyhole and a tight-as-fuckin-fuck butthole and it's hard to say which one is more fun to fuck. I enjoyed going back and forth between the two, as this is something I usually don't get to do in real life. Apparently, going back and forth from the clam to the shithole can give a girl dysentery or something, but since a toy can't get dysentery, game on!

The ability to flip this thing over and screw her either missionary or doggystyle is a huge boon. Though I'm usually as ass-lover, I like switching it up as much as any other guy. It would be awesome to be able to get a suckjob somewhere in the mix too, but given the impressive bulk this toy's already boasting, I don't mind grabbing a blowjob stroker on the side for the occasional beejin'.

All in all, one of the finest sex toys I've ever screwed, if not the absolute finest. Sure, it's large and expensive, but it's worth every fucking penny.

 -- Maston Hammerman