Buy Don't Kiss Me I'm Straight

Don't Kiss Me I'm Straight

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Streaming Rental More Info Watch as many times as you like for 7 days after your purchase! Click "WATCH" and proceed with the purchase processs. You will be prompted to start watching your high quality rental immediately! Available to both PC and Mac users. VOD Questions?	Duration: 7 days	$14.99

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Review

An overused theme is given a nice spark by directors Philip St. John and John Summers. Too bad the awesome original box art was jettisoned in place of this rather "blah" one. Playing into every gayboy's fantasies of "getting some" from your straight neighbor/best friend/sister's boyfriend/Army buddy, this one aims straight for the crotch from the get-go.

Yeah, this scenario has been played out hundreds of times before in other videos and it certainly falls more than a little short in the script department, but this one just seemed to click, and capture that "oh man, I've never done this before" feel perfectly, and the sex is more than hot enough.

Chad Knight gets his sister's boyfriend all "primed up," Karl Thomas takes a huge black cock up his pink hole, and the Army scene plays very, uh, "real" (close quarters and "no pussy" be damned!) as the two military boys who are looking for loving end up breaking not only the code, but each others' mouths and "rear admirals" as well.

Not great by any means, the straight-forward sex (pun intended) and nice shots of "straight boys" getting it from their "fag" friends make this a good crotch rubber/sack whacker.

-- Keeneye Reeves

Product Format Information

Streaming Rental: $14.99

Keywords

Age: College Freshmen to Late 20s, Body Types: Gymnasts/Ripped/Swimmers, Body/Chest Hair: None (Hairless/Shaved/Smooth), Cast's Looks: Chiseled Face/Handsome, Cock Sizes: Big and Thick, Cock Sizes: Horsehung/Size-Queen Alert, Facial Hair: None (Clean Shaven), Frottaging/Groping/Rubbing, Interracial, Men of Color in the Cast, Straight/Closeted Men, Theme: Military/Soldier

Genres

Straight/Closeted Men

Customer Reviews

BELLE (boy) DE JOUR

PacQue wrote on 04/03/2009:

Chapter one (the cover boys). How do you seduce a pizza driver? Use a heterosexual video tape. Chapter two. How do you seduce a Wally Cleaver look-alike? Use the decoy girl gambit. Chapter three. How do you seduce la belle bellboy? Speak softly, and carry a big dick stick. Chapter four. How to seduce les boy soldiers? Invite 'em to your place ply 'em with beer and porn, then, when he masturbates, lick your lips. TARGET AUDIENCE: Closeted - straight.

Four scenes in search of a plot

Unkle Weaser wrote on 09/09/2007:

John Summers isn't Randal Kleiser. The director of GREASE, SUMMER LOVERS, and THE BLUE LAGOON would know what to do with the situations of picking up a straight boy and making him turn for the team, shall we say.

Anyways, there are four scenes in this 1991 semi classic. In the first, PIZZA BOY, we see Jim Montana ordering a pizza for delivery. He puts on a breeder porno tape and goes outside to work on some weights. When the pizza arrives, he lures him in with, "Come on in, the door's open." Poor delivery man sees the straight man boinking the lady-woman on TV screen, he gets distracted, and Jim tells him, "It's okay, just watch the video." Delivery guy splooges, on to the next one...

BAIT AND SWITCH has a girl used as "bait." She invites breeder boy over to her place for a little in-out-in-out, but she never shows up. Her brother has a condom in his pocket, breeder puts it to good use. Waste not, want not...

THE BELLBOY has a black business executive invite the hotel bellboy for a massage. The conversation tells us that he (the bellboy that is) has a girlfriend, but is willing to have a little nookie on the side as long as nobody knows about it. The African-American business type oils the bellboy's back and bunghole up, and soon they're boinking like bunnies.

The last one, SPECIAL FORCES has two military dudes on leave trying to score a piece of tail. These guys must not have read the military manuals, or else they'd have learned that women don't have penises, or else, "Any port in a storm," eh, gentlemen?

This might make for a good series of breeder/queer pickups from a certain locale, say a bar or restaurant, but Mr. Summers, unimaginative as he is, can't see to put his scenes together, which is too bad. The sex is hot, and the men are good looking, but this one needs a story, and it almost has one, but not quite.