Review

If my bosses warned before they "promoted" me to gay toy reviewer that I was going to have to shove glass up my ass, I might have reconsidered taking this plum job. Jerking off to the newest strokers, tying my balls up for hours, strapping my friends down to test the latest S/M devices... sure, no problem. And don’t get me wrong, it’s not the shoving things up my ass part that’s the problem: I absolutely have no problem with that, and the dozens of spongy porn star cocks littering my bedroom flat is a greasy testament to that. It’s the glass part. That sounds serious... and I thought I was reviewing toys.

So you might understand my reluctance when my editor discreetly left the CYBERGlass Pure P-Spot Ultra Slick Prostate Wand on my desk. I have to admit it looked beautiful - solid clear glass, a nice round hole for easy handling and a few strategically placed nubs to search and destroy my prostate. But admiring something and using it are two different things. (I admire Germaine Greer but I ain’t gonna fuck her; btw, is she still alive?)

But it was glass up my ass or the bread line so I thought of Peter Finch’s approach when he was told to kiss Murray Head in Sunday, Bloody Sunday: "I just closed my eyes and thought of England." So, despite fears of rushing to a hospital with a broken piece of glass up my bleeding ass, I said, "Fine, I’ll take one for the team!"

I took a few puffs and then I gazed at the 5-inch glass wand. With a gulp heard down the block, I liberally greased my ass and the toy and made the plunge. The handle allowed me to maneuver quite easily and the hard slickness of the glass offered quite a different feel than the softer kinds of anal probes. I got through the first nub easily (after all, I am a professional) but when I hit the second, much larger nub I knew I was in for some serious ass play. Being a prostate whore I can tell you that this glass shaped penis really worked my ass. As I was twisting and pounding, I didn't even think of broken glass and my broken ass. And that’s a good thing in the anal sex world boys. Clean-up was exceptionally easy (being glass) and they offer you a cute pouch to store it away between furious probes.

Verdict: For an entirely different anal probing and prostate-pounding experience, this toy is great. But because it is made of glass, some guys might just stick to their CyberSkin cock probes. It's anal toy graduates who might get the most pleasure out of this.

 -- Randy Siempre

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