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Review

Vampire Circus begins with a classic case of hatrerism. In a perfect little 19th century Austrian village, the sexy ass Count Mitterhouse (complete with a pristine white ruffled shirt, a hint of eye shadow, and a solid gold choker) sexes the wives of village folk, and murders their children (that’s pretty much standard practice for a Count… look it up). Everything could have been beautiful, like, you know… don’t ask, don’t tell or some shit. I sex your wives, and drain the blood of your spawns, you go on living. But, nooooooo…. There’s always a hatin’ ass, torch-wielding ass, mob trying to stir some shit up. So in typical 19th century angry mob style, they kill the count and incur his undead curse like wrath.

15 years later, the doomed village is teeming with folks plagued with a leper-esque disease. The borders have been secured, because neighboring towns aren’t trying to get down with the flesh eating business happening across the way. Although the town is on lock down, a traveling circus somehow makes its way through, distracting the village idiots (come on, it’s the 19th century, they’re all clinically retarded by today’s standards, right?) Context clues will tell even the dullest knife in the drawer that these carnies aren’t just out to entertain the serfs. Yeah, that’s right… revenge! 19th century vampire circus style!

Clowns, panthers, deadly magic mirror exhibits, dancing, lizard, naked ladies (have you ever seen green stripped lady parts? I’m talking front and back my friend… all up in that lady cooze) and motherfucking vampires! What more could you ask for? Believe the hype, Vampire Circus is everything you imagined and more.

 -- Flavius Ferrari