Buy There's Nothing Out There on DVD

There's Nothing Out There

DVD
25th Anniv

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Skinopsis

Before Scream, There's Nothing Out There took aim at cheezy '80s horror flicks with its blend of hysterical satire, an oozing (and horny) alien monster and tons of gratuitous nudity. Amongst al the hilarity and bare boobs is the story of a group of college kids who head out for a relaxing weekend in the woods where they're picked off one by one by an alien. One nerdy member of the group, however, has an expert knowledge of cheezy horror movies which will come in very handy wheb trying to survive. All of the main actresses strip off their clothes at many deliciously gratuitous points and while the film's tone is decidedly tongue-in-cheek, your tongue will likely be dangling out of your mouth releasing drool at all the hot titties on display.

-- Rick Stanko

Review

Once upon a time, horror movies had a required titty quota. Films that did not meet said quota were instantly burned; no questions- all copies had to be destroyed. I believe this law is still on the records in some parts of the country. The point is, we’ve strayed from the best aspects of horror: cheesy monsters, teens alone in the woods, and BOOOOOOOOBS!

Taking a turn at satire, There’s Nothing Out There pairs a few hot and bothered teen couples (who all appear to be about 32) and a horror movie loving nerd in the fight against a creature from beyond. I might also add that this particular creature from beyond wishes to make sexy time with the ladies. Yes, he attempts to make the sex, and the fetus, with the sluts. The nerd attempts to warn the jerks of Horror Movie 101 procedure, but they’re too busy trying to bump uglies to take notice. Hysteria ensues! Faces will melt! Panties will drop!

Yes, the acting is bad, the special effects are silly, and the creature looks like a scaley, sliming, roomba, but seriously, almost every single broad in this film removes her top…. And the two that don’t, well they don’t matter, now do they? Particularly boner/wtf-is-happening-inducing is the scene in which a possessed scantily clad hooker and a non-possessed American-flag-bikini-wearing hooker fight each other. Who the fuck do you think wins? Freedom Fries, yo.

If I had to say anything bad about this flick, it would be this: the creature is attempting to impregnate chicks,right? Well, why no visit from the alien stork? Come on! There were so many openings to insert an alien birthing. I thought this was a Troma film! Aside from that, it’s your mother’s wet dream. You should buy it for her.

-- Flavius Ferrari