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Skinopsis

17 years ago, a cruel and merciless nun made Catholic school a living hell for her students... until they couldn't stand it and she mysteriously disappeared. Now, she's back and ummm ...wetter than ever.

What's even more cruel and merciless than The Nun is the glaring lack of nudity whatsoever. You want to talk about all wet? You have the always promising Catholic school theme, a cast of cuties like Belén Blanco and Anita Briem and a vengeful spirit made of freakin' water going around killing broads left and right! And not one gets it in the buff? Do Europeans really not take baths? And what the hell happened to skinny-dipping? That's a horror movie staple you hosers! Rain on the parade why don't you? Go ahead, turn a wet dream into a nightmare. Leave us dead in the water. Sink our spirits and drown our hopes...

We suppose it's all water under the bridge now, but this movie could have made a real splash with just a drop of boob rather than nun. Instead, it's water torture for anybody looking for a shore thing to wet their whistle. Drip. Drip. Drip.

-- Paul James