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Review

Blood, bikini-clad babes and two pairs of bodacious boobs in The Dead Don't Scream, a homespun Texas horror flick that follows a bunch of road-tripping college kids who end up abducted and dragged to a factory specializing in stolen car parts and yummy sausage.

Opening with an amazingly long, outstandingly gratuitous scene of two filthy-hot vixens deciding to sunbathe topless. These chickies leave their voluptuous sacks of mam on-screen for a good bit before a couple of goons drag those topless bodies off somewhere. Then, we shift to a bunch of college kids who are on their way to drunken good times when they're warned by a nice lady to "stay away from the lake." Do they? Of course not. This is a horror movie after all and if college kids listened to the warnings of good-hearted people, then we'd get realy shitty body counts. Through a series of traps (one involving a near threeway with two blazing-hot bikini girls) they end up in a dark room with some other captives. Eventually, they try to escape and find themselves navigating a seemingly normal factory. Well, normal except for the presence of corpses on the conveyor belt. They square off with the bad guys leaving bloody bodies dead on the ground from both sides.

Unfortunately, after the opening scene, the naked titties stop, but their absence is made up for by brutal violence, low budget gore effects and hot chicks. That and an underwhelming twsit ending which you may not see coming, but you still won't care that much. Still, for shot-on-video grindhousey fun featuring an attractive cast, you could do a lot worse than The Dead Don't Scream.

 -- Rick Stanko

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