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Skinopsis

Oh gods of cosmetic elective surgery, why must ye be so cruel? It seemed like such a cock-surging moment with Christine Nguyen appearing amongst the wild animals with her buffed body getting drenched by a waterfall. An image of poetry and pants-tightening beauty, but then she turned fully forward and we realized, with horror, that she'd been the recent victim of a botched boob job. Now, we normally prefer natural titties to fake titties. In fact, we've been known to prefer chicks with racks the size of a ten-year-old boy's to those with "perfect" surgical works of art on her ribs, but we're not exactly a picky dude and we've spanked to all types of boobs: real and fake. Ok, so we actually spanked it to the aforementioned scene as well, but goddamn girl! Why the fuck did you agree to be the star of this movie when Dr. Boobenglargement made your nipples point in two distinct, unsettling directions? The things we do for money.

All is not lost, though. Nicole Sheridan and Syren both look hot as shit in their naughty scenes with their shaved slizzes and not-botched boobage (and damn can they scream) and there are some pretty funny moments in this softcore parody of jungle movies, but we remain haunted and disturbed by those haphazard nipples. We hope she sued her douchebag surgeon. Girls that hot should not have mangled tits... unless they're in a skingoria movie or something.

-- Rick Stanko