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Review

Prince’s former it girl-turned-born-again Christian, Vanity stars in this bizarre, low-low-budget love triangle of sorts. Vanity plays a beautiful, if vacuous, model caught in a relationship with an abusive jerk named Lobo. In order to cope with this abuse she conjures up some kind of alternate reality where she and the deplorable Lobo are alone together on a tropical island. Even here, loony Lobo continues to mistreat our heroine to no end. Soon, she encounters a funny-looking monkey-like creature that she befriends and names ‘Blue’ because of his big, goofy blue eyes. For a time, she manages to hide blue’s existence and sneaks away whenever she can to rendezvous with the ape thing. And though there doesn’t appear to be any romantic (eww.. gross) relationship between the two they do form a weird bond of sorts and consequently Blue begins to develop human traits. However, it was only a matter of time before Lobo learns of Blue and when he does he becomes more vicious than ever. Lobo gradually descends into an animalistic, feral state and sets out to remove Blue from the equation. And so, the island becomes a battlefield, with the man-like beast and the bestial man clashing over the fate of fair Vanity. The quality of the film is pitiful to say the least, and the cast (including the damn, dirty ape) are more irritating than anything else. But hey, where else, besides maybe Prince’s old photo albums, are you going to see Vanity naked?

 -- PJ