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Skinopsis

Warning: There are, as far as we can tell, no vampires in Skin Eating Jungle Vampires. Warning #2: The videography ranges from really shitty to borderline unwatchable. Neither of these, however, should prevent fans of microbudget grindhouse sleaze from having a bloody good time with Skin Eating Jungle Vampires. A midnight movie for the shot-on-video generation, the production values are awful (lighting, sound editing all of that shit), but it's all made up for with that other kind of production value: Titties! That's right, pervs, this early 21st century take on Mountain of the Cannibal God and all those other flicks with sexy cannibal chicks doing sexy cannibal things to innocent caucasian hotties, is filled to its sleazy brim with beautiful, bare and sometimes bloody boobs. In addition to all the random boobs-out dancing, we get a cannibal queen rubbing blood all over her tits, that same cannibal queen letting a snake crawl all over her tits, cannibal girls rubbing blood all over each other's tits, forced cannibalism, lesbian incest(!) and a lot more.

The story, if you really care, is simple. One chick, a thick brunette gets captured by lesbian cannibals while vacationing in Costa Rica. They begin to prepare her to be sacrificed to a jungle god or some shit like that. Meanwhile, her thin blonde sister psychically senses something's wrong and flies her hot ass down there to look for her dear old sis. Eventually, after lots of random wandering around topless, she finds her and plans for sacrifice are amped up, as is some lesbian incest. Unfortunately, these crazed cannibals probably should've inspected their captives' coochies 'cuz non-virgins ain't gonna fly and these vixens lost their V long, long ago. So, that's that. If you're into shitty low quality video footage of hot topless girls dancing wildly, rubbing fake blood all over each other and licking each other's titties, then Skin Eating Jungle Vampires is the movie for you.

-- Rick Stanko