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Skinopsis

There's few things in the world that are more romantic than statutory rape. Just ask Tomokawa, a lazy, 40-something bicycle cop who uses his position to get tail, literally. He steals housewives' dogs then returns them days later to the very grateful owner (like sexy little thing Noriko Hamada, who is more than willing to let Tomokawa tap her from the back with her pert tits out and skirt hiked up). When he's not banging half the neighborhood women, Tomo enjoys kicking back and picking on his retarded buddy, Sukemasa.

He meets 15-year old Yoku (played by Mayu Ozawa, an 18-year old responsible for the bulk of the tits and ass-baring) who offers sex for pay (real money too, not just a bag of gummy bears). And like any red-blooded pedophilic, perv policeman - he goes for it. Yup, this fucking guy is a real piece of work.

She doesn't take the money (or the candy) and leaves before 'Officer Bad Touch' can seal the deal - dozing off instead. Yet the two share some kind of weird connection that goes beyond Barbie dolls and boy bands and they fall in love. Awww. It's all really quite sweet... like a stranger giving out tampered candies at recess.

Soon, the two learn that their connection runs even deeper, it seems that Tomokawa's retard chew-toy is Yoku’s brother, her mother (Mari Natsuki) meanwhile had an affair with Tomokawa in the past (as seen in a flashback fuck that shows a bit of Mari's side bits) and Yoku's grandfather had tattooed some big, stupid one-winged bird on Tomokawa's back.

Small world.

-- Paul James