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Skinopsis

What do you mean that Jicky Schnee isn't a celebrity and, thus, her two scenes that feature her left and right breasts, respectively, don't count as celebrity nudity? Haven't you seen her in that one episode of "Lipstick Jungle" she did? Next thing you're going to say is that this isn't F. Murray Abraham's best movie since Surviving the Game. Anyway, the plot follows this physicist dude who goes back to Russia in '92 while his marriage to the chick from The Breakfast Club who shook her dandruff on that picture is falling apart while his affair with the tit-baring Schnee is falling apart as well. We'll give you bonus points on the righteousness meter if you can shoot your load at either moment of tit-revelation while screaming out SCHNEE!

-- Rick Stanko