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Skinopsis

Ok so whose bright idea was it to make a video game movie with the drug dealer from Go? We can only imagine him rolling around the stairs with Katie Holmes or holding a gun to Sarah Polley. Now, he's all Vin Diesel'd out. What, they couldn't get Billy Zane? Anyway, all is certainly not lost because most big budget shitty Hollwywood action movies made since, like, the first Bush administration this one's got tits! Gorgeous tits at that! Superbly sexy Ukranian beauty Olga Kurylenko plays Nika, a sex slave owned by the villains, and she gets thongtastic showing heaping helpings of her firm booty and bare-titarific displaying her phenomenally fly borscht balls. Plus, there's a lot of violence, so that's always a good thing.

-- Rick Stanko