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Skinopsis

Fuck you Paul Naschy, you two bit Jess Franco wannabe! Ok, we respect the Nasch-man and all for his numerous contributions to trash cinema and dirty fucking horror movies, but our anger, today, lies in the fact that he's trying to kill vampires and, in this movie, Glori-Anne Gilbert is one seriously huge-titted immortal specimen. We don't care how many peoples she's drained or how many crimes against humanity she's committed, she's got tits from here to Transylvania... and back. We've never been like the biggest fan of huge tits, but there aren't freak show tits... they're borderline freak show tits, y'know? Anyway, after getting zapped with the vamp spell by a dude vampire, Glori-Anne flashes forward to present-ish day and switches to girl-on-girl. Sometimes, it seems like she's gone immortal just so she could taste the cooch juice of as many nubile young things as she can. Kennedy Johnston, Lolana and more contribute their huge hooters to this filthy treat that features more lesbian sex than the afterparty of an ecstasy-fueled Indigo Girls concert. Glori, Glory Hallelujah!

-- Rick Stanko