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Skinopsis

A New York City wedding reception sets the scene for a sexually-charged battle of wits by what seems to be two strangers. But as the night carries on, the nameless couple's repartee reveals their two decades past love affair. It's a good thing this flick unfolds entirely in split screen, 'cuz you do not want to miss Nora Zehetner's nor Helena Bonham Carter's conversation pieces.

Even though it would be nice to fill up either side of the split screen with titties for the entire 84 minutes (would that be a tit screen then?), we never tire of British dish Helena Bonham Carter's bon bons. The very bon bons that made goth-geek Tim Burton put the creepy dolls down (for a few minutes at least) laid bare in a couple sex scenes and in the shower. Hey Helena - a word to the wise - you better be scrubbing with a Brillo pad if you want the blot of Burton off you. That fucking guy's like Herpes. Poor Batman still hasn't completely recovered from the taint of Edward Ickyhand's grubby touch. At least Nora Zehetner's bare breasts remain exposed and untarnished...

-- Paul James