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WINNERS ANNOUNCED!

The time has come for another edition of the MOST IMPORTANT MOVIE AWARDS OF ALL TIME! Sure, there other awards like the Wammys and the Bammys and, of course, World's Greatest Grandpa, but do they have a category called BEST MOVIE WHERE PEOPLE DO SEX FOR REAL? Did they nominate a movie where daughters beg their daddies to do bad things to them? Or a movie where big-titted strippers fight zombies? No, we didn't fucking think so. So, strap in and get your voting pants on, because it's time to vote in the TLA CULT AWARDS 2013! Vote as many times as you want, then vote a few more times just to be sure. And, remember, voting in our awards makes you a better person*. It makes you better looking*. And it makes you a lot better at doing sex* Voting ends March 31st, or at least that’s when we’re gonna stop counting ‘em. After all, we only have so many fingers and toes.

*Disclaimer: Voting in these awards has, in no way, been proven to make you a better person, or better looking, or better at doing sex.

To Vote: Highlight the boxes associated with your selections,
then scroll to the bottom of the page and click the large VOTE button.

• The TLA Cult Super Awesome Culty Award - Best Overall

  

  Where the Dead Go to Die

  This year's grand prize winner comes to us from Jimmy ScreamerClauz. We know nothing of Mr. ScreamerClauz personally, but we'd wager he's either a mad genius or a genuine psychopath. Our skinopsis calls describes this ultra-disturing cartoon as playing out like "...the nightmares of psychopathic child on steroids and mescaline... only more disturbing than that." Clearly the fans agree as this demented flick was able to best the competition and garner the most votes.

• Best Grindhouse/Exploitation DVD

  

  Big Tits Zombie

  Large-breasted strippers, zombies, nudity, excessive gore... and it's in 3D. Why that's not the way all movies are is beyond us, but we're damn glad that this movie exists. Obviously, so are the many fans who stopped by to vote.

• Best Horror DVD

  

  Father’s Day

  With a sly twist on the serial killer/slasher genre (he targets fathers, rather than the typical teenage girl), a kickass synthy soundtrack, just the right amount of film grain, sexy women, and genuine horror, it’s no wonder this gem from the filmmaker collective Astron-6 was the cult horror hit of the year.

• Best Box Set/Combo Pack

  

  Midnight Movies Vol 1: Horror Triple Feature

  It's all in the family in this Italian horror box set from legendary cult DVD label Blue Underground. Two of the films in this set were directed by Lamberto Bava and one was directed by his dad, Mario. No matter how you slash it, this set is a whole lotta gory horror madness for one low price.

• Best Sexy Arthouse Flick

  

  Melancholia

  Lars Von Trier's clinical depression/end of the world fantasia is an incredibly thoughtful, spectacularly acted film. It also happens to have an amazing topless scene from Kirsten Dunst. High quality filmmaking plus high quality boobs make this a can't miss film.

• Best Mainstream Genre Flick

  

  The Cabin in the Woods

  If you've already seen this Joss Whedon-scripted, brilliant twist on the horror genre, you already know how delightfully clever it is. And if you haven't... well, it's best we don't spoil a thing. Just go see it.

• Best Movie Where People Do Sex Stuff for Real!

  

  The Bunny Game

  Gritty, grimy and so intense it'll crawl under your skin, The Bunny Game is an intense, graphic film. Adding to the grit and grime is a scene early on (before the true horror begins) in which star Rodleen Gestic (who apparently based the script on her own time as a prostitute!) performs unsimulated oral sex on a john.

• Best Grindhouse Throwback

  

  Father’s Day

  Grindhouse throwbacks are bigger than ever, but this one was a nearly perfect recreation of late '70s/early '80s slasher flicks. One glance at the film grain and one listen of the soundtrack transports us back to another time.

• Best Mindfuck

  

  Where the Dead Go to Die

  We already gushed about this mind-melting sickie so we'll just throw up a quote from one of its Satanic anti-heroes: "She knows that your testicles are filled with the tears of God and she can use her holes to make him cry." - Labby the Dog

• Sickest Flick

  

  The Bunny Game

  Boy oh boy is this one sick puppy (or should that be bunny?) of a film. The trucker villain with his wild eyes, thick beard and his tendency to mumble semi-incoherently and repetitively has been showing up in our nightmares ever since we watched it, as has the image of Rodleen Getsic with a shaved head running around naked like a madwoman.

• Best "Thank God It's' Back In-Print"

  

  Re-Animator

  Stuart Gordon's classic and transgressive take on H.P. Lovecraft is deliriously insane and insanely gross. If you ask us, it never should've been out of print in the first place, but thank the DVD gods it’s back on DVD now.

• Best Website/Blog/Podcast/Whatever

  

  Horror Society

  Man oh man, these guys love horror. And clearly their fans love them for it. This is Horror Society's second TLACult award, having previously won in the same category in 2011.