The best of the best have been decided by the voters of votes!
You voted. They won. That's right, the time has come to announce the winners of the greatest awards in the history of human civilization. (Yes, even greater than the Sumerian Academy of Stone Etchers Awards). See below to find out the top vote getters in all our amazing categories.
Congratulations to the winners and to the other nominees!
The TLA Cult Super Awesome Culty Award - Best OverallHidden in the WoodsA relentless gore-fest from Chile, Hidden in the Woods oozes insanity from pretty much every frame. Director Patricio Valladares never really takes his foot off the gas in this tale of the two sexually exploited daughters (and one disfigured son) of a rural degenerate rapist/drug dealer who manage to escape their father’s clutches and hide out in the woods with his father’s criminal associates hot on their tail. If you like extreme cinema, then this is an absolute must own!
Best Multi-Feature DVD ReleaseExploitation Double Feature: Black Cobra Woman and SuperbitchLook, Super Bitch is a totally solid (excellent, even) Italian crime thriller with a devious narc playing everyone against everyone, women taking their clothes off and a heap of unexpected style, but we can't help but think that it was Black Cobra Woman that put this double feature over-the-top with our voters. First off, it stars Laura Gemser. Second, it stars Laura Gemser and she gets naked a lot. Third, it stars Laura Gemser and she gets naked a lot with snakes crawling on her naked flesh. Fourth, it has Jack freaking Palance and a shocking twist. So, yeah, it's pretty damn incredible.
Best Grindhouse FlickSS Hell CampWhat could possibly make a supersleazy Nazisploitation flick any better than others of its genre? Well, according to our voters, a horny man-beast ought to do the trick. This DVD release from Full Moon Pictures may be cropped in a weird way, but the shocking sexual content it packs into its relatively short running time more than makes up for that. Sadism, bizarre medical/sexual experiments, hot naked women and more fill the screen in this morally bankrupt gem.
Best Art House or International Skin FlickHard RomantickerThere is a bit of naked female flesh on display in this semi-autobiographical tale of a handsome, violent, young yakuza, but there's even more style. The horn score alone makes this worth owning, but the editing and camera work, coupled with the solid acting and weird nature of the plot (and extreme violence) make it one of the coolest movies to come out in years.
Sickest FlickHidden in the WoodsYeah, no kidding. This flick features incestuous sexual assault, chainsaw mutilations, prostitution, a disfigured freak of an incest baby, nudity, excessive gore and so much more. Plus, there are pretty much no characters who even come close to being likable (with the possible exceptions of the lead character siblings). Hidden in the Woods is one taboolicious, sick flick!
Best HorrorToad RoadIf you took Jackass, Enter the Void, Trainspotting and The Blair Witch Project and put them together in a cinematic blender, the result would be an awful lot like Toad Road. There really aren’t too many films like it. Director Jason Banker started off by filming a group of hard partying friends doing real life stunts and real life drugs, then crafted a horror narrative based on a local urban legend around them. The result is simply mesmerizing and one of the most realistic portrayals of alienated youths in the suburbs taking hallucinogens ever created.
Best DirectorPatricio Valladares, Hidden in the WoodsMan, this flick really cleaned the fuck up with these awards, didn't it? Kudos to director Patricio Valladares on this win and all the other wins for this film. As a bonus to all us extreme cinema fans out there, Valladares is getting a crack at directing the upcoming American remake. Let's just hope it's as grimy and depraved as the original
Best Blog or WebsiteThe Church of Splatter Day SaintsThe Church of Splatter Day Saints What do misanthropy, "Beverly Hills: 90210", cult movie reviews and a Trapper Keeper/Lisa Frank-esque aesthetic have in common? Well, since we’re blurbing up The Church of Splatter Day Saints in honor of their win for Best Blog or Website, you can probably guess. And if you can’t guess, The PopeoCOSDS or her pal Goat Lord would probably find some pretty hilarious ways to relentlessly make fun of how stupid you are. Seriously, we love the ever-loving shit out of this site. Their reviews of cult movies are what lured us in. Those reviews are always hilarious and extremely well written. And then we found their periodic reviews of seasons of "Beverly Hills: 90210" and we knew it was love. These degenerates are simply the tits.
Details of the TLA Cult Awards
- Nominees were selected by our dedicated staff of cult movie junkies from movies released on DVD in 2013.
- Voting ends March 31st, 2014 at 11:59 PM ET.
- Award winners will be announced April 15th.
- Voting is open to everyone. There is no limit on the number of votes you may cast.
- Losers can petition for a recount by contacting TLACult.com via communication, but we'll just call you a crybaby behind your back and then delete your email unanswered.
- Categories are subject to change annually based on no pre-defined set of criteria.