Review

The high priestess of porn Chi Chi LaRue puts a naughty spin on the popular flick Gladiator and the results are hot and juicy enough to appease insatiable Caesar himself.

Billy Herrington - devilishly handsome, roughly scruffy and built like a brick shithouse - is the mightiest gladiator in Rome. No man can beat him. No man can resist him. And no penis has ever felt the tight clench of his virgin hole.

He also bears more than a passing resemblance to a certain Oscar-winning hunk from Oz (whose name I won’t mention for fear of being beaten up. (Oops, did I just give it away?)

After his latest bout, Gladiator is led back to his cell, where his slave boy (luscious beefsteak Tom Katt) lovingly tends to his wounds, bathes him and undresses him. As Slaveboy washes Gladiator’s dangling meat, the two ogling Centurions outside bust into the cell, toss the slave aside and have a go at Gladiator themselves. They share sucking chores on Gladiator’s magnificent dick, and then Gladiator tastes some Centurion cock. Gladiator and the cuter, younger Centurion (Andel) each have a go at hole-humping the hunkier older Centurion (Trent Cougar).

Later, Billy the Gladiator watches two other gladiators (Tino Lopez and Casey Williams) get it on orally and anally in the opposite cell.

Gladiator is eventually summoned to Caesar’s palace and ordered to indulge his sexual appetites with the other hot toga-wearing studs in the throne room. Caesar (played by Blake Harper with a nice touch of imperiousness) presides over a smoldering five-way that also includes Colton Ford, Nino Bacci and Jay Ross, all finely fit and naturally hairy in all the proper places.

As Nino and Jay worship Gladiator’s body and lick every inch of his sweaty flesh, Caesar is receiving noisy, slurpy head from diabolically sexy newcomer (Mr. All Worlds Bear 2001 Winner) Colton. Unconcerned with the notion of the Emperor figuratively getting on his royal knees, Caesar takes a gobbling mouthful of Colton’s ample cock. (By the way, Colton and Blake are currently real life lovers and their onscreen heat is quite combustible.)

Colton leaves Caesar alone on the throne so he can wrap his ass around Billy’s spectacular meat poker. But Caesar isn’t alone for long, as Jay takes a firm seat on the Emperor’s throbbing scepter. But it truly takes a powerful ass-slamming to appease voracious Caesar, who rides Colton’s large cock enthusiastically.

Gladiator, meanwhile, dumps a load of hot cream on Nino’s back and licks some of it back up. Then Caesar taunts Gladiator, promising that if he remains unconquered in the arena the next day, Caesar will nonetheless conquer his virgin ass the following night and that he should prepare to be abused and humiliated accordingly.

Back in the cell, Gladiator and Slaveboy finally profess their love for each other and, to nullify Caesar’s nefarious intention to steal Gladiator’s anal chastity, Gladiator freely offers it to Slaveboy right then and there.With the words “Take my manhood,” perpetual top Herrington makes porno history, finally becoming a hungry bottom on film. With some appropriate grunting, moaning and squirming, Herrington proficiently accommodates Katt’s immense tool, soon begging to be slammed harder and harder and harder!

Needless to say, if Gladiator had had a few moments like this,
I wouldn’t be so snarkily derisive of its dubious Oscar victory.

Chi Chi orchestrates the volcanic sexual extravagance here with his typically keen eye for flashy shots and opulent costumes and scenery. Given that this is a “period” piece, LaRue earns snaps for making a little go a long way. Granted, this one’s not exactly a low-budget affair, but LaRue’s stylish command manages to up the production value. Though some glaring anachronisms put the film within a hair’s breadth of corniness (i.e., modern sandals and tattoos, bikini-brief tan lines, 21st century speech and, of course, the strict use of latex), the boisterous irreverence for a certain self-important gladiator flick is contagious. Hail Caesar!

Friends, Romans and Countrymen, don’t dare miss this sweaty, orgiastic fuck-fest. Boners abound, semen is spewed, penetration attained and history is made. All with a sly wink.
You’ll have a devilishly good time.
-Beef Stroganoff