Review

Looks like chicken, tastes like chicken.
Aww hell, it must be chicken.
And I’m way beyond singing "I feel like chicken tonight".

Some pornos have a sense of humor about themselves. Some you just laugh at. The latter are terrible, especially when a cute trick you’ve picked up puts one on and you proceed to giggle through it. They tend to take it personally and ask you to leave. Luckily, this is one of the former.

In this one, twenty-something pretty boys enter the world of fast food. Now, I’ve always believed fast food makes you sick quick, but hey, you all love it, judging by the proliferation of these drive-thru greasy fire hazards on every street corner. But you won’t find one like Cluck’s, and mores the pity! It’s the sort of place you frequent when, as our two young heroes point out pre-credits, you’re horny/hungry.

Dissolve to a shot of Cluck’s - and sweetie, next time spend more than forty-seven cents on special effects. Naa, joking, I loved it really! That fifty foot tall party bucket looks like it could keep my sister Chi Chi LaRue quite happy.

Already at the drive-thru window (and being ably-served by the fabulous Francea) is Braun, who orders "Chicken on a Queen" and gets a mouthful of Benton, who magically appears in the seat next to him. I’m guessing this is a legalized drive-thru brothel. Heidi Fleiss sure did crash and burn.

The two get naked straight away (you might want to move the car first - you’ll only hold up the line) with Braun (slightly lumpy face but still very do-able) swallowing his feast whole, before expertly rimming him and fucking his face. Gotta love guys who multitask! Very passionate kissing and hot action with Braun fucking the shit out of Benton before they both sweatily and noisily spew their secret sauce everywhere.

These guys were so hot they didn’t notice that the backdrop of stripped trees made their al fresco antics look like they occurred in the dead of winter.

It’s not just drive thru - Parks and Fox run in and order Atkins and Madiera. Sadly the sound was so muffled here I couldn’t tell you what chicken-flavored double-entendre they asked for but I bet it was rip-roaringly hilarious. Ahem. The clerk produces their naked orders from the walk-in freezer. Ow. Wouldn’t these poor guys catch a chill? It doesn’t matter because pretty soon four huge dicks get the screen sizzling, as they kiss, suck, rim, slurp and hump their way through a great scene. (Just a shame that in one part it looks like poor Parks has passed out on the table.) Fox fucks the delightful tanned chicken burger to perfection whilst Parks takes his own on a nearby table, shooting all over Atkins’ pimply cheeks. "God you eat fast," Fox comments and is rewarded with Park’s satisfied belch whilst flipping over and receiving a bit of hot sauce from Madiera.

Why is this restaurant so empty? The food looks great; is it the service that’s lousy? Here’s why, Meet Mr. Big Cluck - Chad Knight. Our manager is interviewing potential recruit Landers, who looks like he’s participating in porno as part of his community service. Our manager’s interview technique is worth a giggle, but if he’s hiring retards like Landers’ character then he’s only asking for trouble. Still, as Landers gets naked to try on the uniform, his bad tattoos and go-nowhere-hair excite the boss and all logic is once more forgotten as Knight samples his employee-to-be’s meat, having a gay old time chowing down on those inches. Knight is very pretty-boy-sexy, whilst the more thuggish Landers will excite those into a bit of rough. And guess who’s bottom. Yep, Knight. But he exudes a great sexiness as his gates are hammered by that batter-spewing-battering ram.

I’m being picky now but if it’s a work uniform, wouldn’t it have the Cluck’s logo on it? It only costs about three dollars to have one run up at Kinko’s for God’s sake! Is the budget really that low?

Night falls, Cluck’s closes and it’s left to poor Devlin to sweep up. Not to worry, he’s got more things on his mind. He opens the fridge (there’s a scary shot of all the naked guys standing motionless inside - like that scene in Coma) and pulls out Savage. (Staff perks, I guess. You get to eat the left-overs.) The two eagerly work each other orally, before Savage finger fucks his pal, producing moans of ecstasy. As he lovingly fucks him with that huge member Devlin shoots everywhere, and Savage opens the fridge and lets out Hawke, Jordan, Wolfe and an unhealthily skinny Sizemore who join Savage in losing their batter on the willing Devlin. Very hot scene!

Ends weirdly, with them all giving filthy looks to Devlin, who just grins inanely. Ok, I would be too, but I expected our chickens to revolt, enslave, and then eat their masters. But that’s a fantasy I’ll leave fro my next trip to Burger King.