Review

"New York, New York it's a wonderful town!" And according to seasoned porn star/director Michael Lucas one can't find peaceful refuge from the hustle and bustle of Manhattan because his fellow neighbors haven't discovered the art of biting a pillow. Amidst the moans and groans (and in the Director's Cut, water sports) Lucas’ neighbors are horny to the max in his film Apartments, where close quarters can yield noisy and sexually charged results.

Handsome Michael Lucas and his equally “easy on the eyes” boyfriend Carlos Aguirre can't get no sleep because their next store neighbor is, as Lucas puts it, "a fucking sex maniac!" Do not fret dear reader, because soon Lucas and Aguirre distract each other with a lick-a-thon that covers cocks, asses, and even Aguirre's nicely manicured feet (we love pedicures, don't we?). Soon Lucas solidly fucks Aguirre, giving the boy bottom an opportunity to groan just as loudly as their noisy neighbor. The chemistry between the two is natural, looking like there is some serious lovemaking going on. Lucas delivers his man tonic directly on Aguirre's face. (This is porn after all.) Aguirre licks Lucas’ crack until our randy Russian shoots another load on his lover's chiseled face. And finally, Aguirre unloads on his tummy.

Bitter Lucas, with a bug up his ass (I’m glad he has something up there), wants to start a petition to kick the shrieking siren out of the building; he even warns new tenants Damion and Rick Gonzales that they are going to hate it here. The boys smile politely but have other concerns. To get laid! They flop on their Ikea styled sofa bed (which is conveniently left…open) and proceed to suck each other's faces until their heads cave in. After an invigorating 69 session Damion sticks his heels up in the air, displaying furry man hole for Gonzales’ tongue spit. Without missing a lick, Damion returns the favor, tonguing Gonzales’ hirsute and “wink, wink” sphincter until our Latin lover is bouncing on the one-name wonder's huge dick. A missionary scene later, Damion takes Gonzales’ tube steak of lovin' up his bum in one, lube-enriched stroke. Damion and Gonzales are the “cream” team shooting thick, hot and heavy.

In the Director's Cut Gonzales pees all over Damion and the sofa bed in the most non-erotic water sports scene I've ever seen. Obviously, he is marking his territory. [Note to self: Avoid the sofa bed when spending the night - anywhere!]

Noisy neighbor Antonio Vela (who has the coolest tattoo between his shoulder blade - a red Canadian maple leaf) won’t stop moaning because he is entertaining not one but two guests: Lucas Exclusive Marco Rochelle and Latin honey Mario Ortiz. After a daisy chain suck-off, Ortiz gets fucked by Rochelle, Ortiz fucks Vela and then Rochelle and Ortiz cum, respectively and simultaneously, on each side of Vela's face. A creamy load escapes out of Vela’s turgid member (it looks painful and needs release!). Smiles abound and kisses are shared. Awwww…

Lucas reappears, hell bent on telling Vela that he wants him out of the building. Not one to back down, Vela incorporates a “good neighbor” policy and invites Rick Gonzales (from scene one) over for a cup of four-way sugar with black stud Polo McCabe and tattooed David. Cock sucking, spit layered rimming, etc. You get the oral sex picture, that is until McCabe and David are the recipients of a heated fuck invasion by Gonzales and Vela. Finally, with McCabe lying on his back, the other three guys deliver a juice facial and oral unloading that would make any cosmetologist proud.

In the Director's Cut Gonzales marks his territory again on the three guys in another (and quite lengthy) water sports sequence.

As Barbra Streisand and Donna Summer said, “Enough is enough!” So Lucas tells his boyfriend that they are moving out. But life goes for another pair of urban dwellers when hung and tattooed Danny Hunter and boyish Jony Kfir suck each other’s male parts. Hunter then gets on his back and gets his butt royally eaten, and in an incredible act of yoga flexibility, Hunter chews on his own man tool. (Kudos to Pilates!) Kfir, having enough of the self-service stylings of Hunter basically sits on his monster stick instead and goes for a ride. (Damn, that’s big!) Without missing a beat, Hunter flips Kfir over and pounds him mercilessly till Kfir explodes. K-pow! Hunter points and shoots on Kfir's face and then proceeds to lick his own cum off his lover's face.

Director's Cut water sports special: Hunter and Kfir end up in the shower whizzing on each other. Again, there is no spice in the scene just basic whizzing.

Polished and occasionally sensual (the men look like they are truly enjoying each other) Apartments has great looking guys bopping, sucking, and licking quite enthusiastically under perfect lighting and a steady camera. The Director’s Cut is strictly for water sports purists, while the other sexual montages could invoke a whole apartment building to moan, groan and finally sigh in orgasmic relief.

Michael Lucas delivers another sexy, hot, and tasty assortment of East Coast cuties in an all-out, balls to the thin apartment walls ode to city living and what your perverted neighbors are doing.
Note to the sofa bed wetting queens: Get renter’s insurance.
-Cubby Britches

Lucas casually interviews our foursome from Scene Four. I can only imagine that Lucas’ directorial approach with his actors is gently funny and his sets must have natural casualness, as the interview leads me to believe. Outtakes display a great sense of humor and showcase a director who pays careful attention to details, specifically when Lucas instructs an actor on how to properly rim a butt hole erotically. The montage of Michael Lucas trailers is perfect for a quick whack off session, when you only have minutes before running off to dinner and that Broadway show. -Cubby Britches

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