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Review

How much do you hate yourself? No, seriously, how much do you hate yourself? If you answered "a lot" then boy do we have the movie for you. Almost Invisible is 95 or so minutes of pure, punishingly awful horror movie incoherence. If you need to punish youself for all the ways you suck, then we recommend strapping yourself to a chair and setting this movie on repeat. On second though, one viewing ought to do it.

See, there's this bunch of obnoxious popular college kids (at least we think they're in college - it says "college" on one of the buildings early on, but they still wory about whose mom's house they can party at and shit like that) and they need a place to party. Out of seemingly nowhere comes Goth chick April (Sara Cole) who offers up her parent's house. Needing somewhere to get fucked up and do stupid shit, they lower their social standards and accept. Eventually, the editing gets really crappy which we think is the filmmaker's way of conveying an unstable reality or something. Regardless, there's something fucked up about this house and things seem to appear out of nowhere. Eventually, some people die (we think) and, in the meantime, much drinking, fucking and wondering what the fuck is going on is to be done.

There's just so much wrong with Almost Invisible that it's almost hard to figure out where to start. Let's start with the right, then. Sara Cole, as the Goth chick, is strangely compelling. We won't spoil it and tell you whether she's the villain or not, but we were rooting for her to kill all these douchey motherfuckers whether that was the case or not. Also, it's generally shot in a competent if thoroughly unimpressibve style. Now, the bad, whoa nelly, the bad. Primarily, it's the script and the editing. Maybe they ruined each other - we're not sure, but nothing makes any fucking sense and the disjointed reality just seems like the filmmakers forgot to shoot scenes, not that they were trying to keep people off balance. It's probably just a high concept idea, not thoroughly fleshed out creatively and then executed with about 1% of the funds needed to make it come even close to working.

If you like awesomely bad movies with good bits of gratuitous nudity and oddly compelling Goth chicks, then Almost Invisible is for you. Also if you hate yourself... a lot.

 -- Rick Stanko