Review

A terrific (and hot) surprise from Bacchus Releasing. Proof that women aren’t the only ones who reach their sexual peak at 35, this bone-stiffening bit of cinema is the surprise success story of the New Year. Featuring some of porn’s hottest men at their peak of juicy ripeness, 35 & Up is everything that great porn should be: raw, noisy and hot.

In the first scene, walking nocturnal emission Evans is paired with a smaller, slender but hairy gent who takes to Evans like a slug to a beer can. As you watch through camera angles that cover every inch (and there are many) of the action, Evans and his liege take turns lovingly swallowing each other’s swollen goody-sticks. Background music has been scrapped and replaced with the carnal soundtrack of two men enjoying each other’s naughty bits. Evans ends up as the willing bottom here, and he takes his friend’s butt tenderizer in a couple of positions.

Next up is another dick-hungry duo. I’m not sure who either of these performers are (they never tell you) but they are very good at what they do. And what they do is have sex with each other. The scene follows the formula of the first scene – suck for suck, followed by ass-pounding in a couple of positions. Guy #1 is tall, black haired, slender and tan, with a large brown shmeckle. Guy #2 has a light brown buzz cut, a smooth body and a meaty shank. Though Guy #1 is the strong silent type, Guy #2 is very vocal, especially when he’s taking that tootsie roll in the caboose.

In the next scene, hulking sex machine Radcliffe gets it on with a bald, goateed, fuzzy-chested bear (who I will refer to as "Paddington"). Anyway, Radcliffe goes down on Paddington’s “winter-white” noodle with passion and gusto. Paddington is equally adept at sword swallowing, and he downs Radcliffe’s piece like he hasn’t seen dick in a dog’s age! Despite Radcliffe’s massive size, it turns out he likes being the "girl." Consequently, he gets it in the crap shooter and likes it.

In the film’s final installment, we fade to black. Austin Black, that is. This swarthy father figure turns the screws on his biracial (?) fuckmate (who I shall call "Chocolat"). As in the other scenes, these two are ravenous sex-beasts, pawing and sucking each other just as Mother Nature intended it. Black’s beefstick is king-sized, and Chocolat devours it with gusto. Black gives Chocolat some sugar in the penis department, before introducing Chocolat’s starfish to his jumbo-sized jackhammer. Chocolat mews and moans with each thrust. In the end, there’s a veritable cum tsunami and then the show’s over, folks.

35 & Up is a nearly flawless exercise in hardcore perfection. Get it.

 -- T.J. Maxxwell